What I Feel and What I Know
by TheCrayCrayGirl
Summary: Riko Suminoe plans to take up an entrance exam where she will be studying in one of the prestigious universities in Japan. But, how will she do that when even she can't even deal with her feelings towards her brother? Will she be able to stand up and fight or will Keita truly disappear from hers? Rated T for some foul language.
1. Chapter 1: Brewing Rage

**Riko [POV]  
**

My name is Riko Suminoe. Eighteen years old, with hair and eyes that resembles that to my sister, Ako. I'm a girl who's poor in academic grades but never fails to attend and pass Phys Ed, unlike Ako, who can't even dodge a single ball. The one who always depends on luck and gets away with it.

But, unfortunately, I'm really running out of luck right now.

Why?

Well, it all started on a Monday morning.

I stayed up late yesterday night, just to study for the upcoming test to leave Tamahide and go on to a university in Japan.

Ako wouldn't think that I was some kind of girl who's always locked up inside her room, obsessed with studying while trying to understand every words inside the textbook.

But, if I don't do that sort of stuff that Ako always excels at, I might never have a chance to go to that prestigious university I've always dreamed of ever since I was just in middle school.

* * *

"_Riko..._"

I tossed and turned in my sleep, knocking pillows and sent them lying on the floor.

_"Riko..."_

I felt a hand on my shoulder, that brought me back to the reality.

My eyes immediately opened themselves and blinked several times, after seeing a girl staring back at me and smiling.

A girl with the same tuscan red hair and raw umber eyes like mine.

My sister, Ako Suminoe, one year older than me and both in the same class.

She was better than me...better at getting good academic grades, better at skills in cooking, better at tutoring Keita, our brother...or maybe even better than me for making Keita fall in love with her and Kiryuu-sensei.

"Ako." I managed to speak up, after sitting back up.

"Good morning." She replied softly and tied up the curtains to let in the daylight.

I yawned for a moment then glanced at the alarm clock.

The time stopped and the button has been pressed.

It was _6:30 am _on the screen and stopped blinking like it was supposed to.

"It's not even past seven." I said, a little bit groggily.

"Sorry for waking you up." Ako paused and sat back down again, smiling apologetically. "I just wanted to tell you something so I came by your room."

I stood up and folded the ends of the bed sheet, putting it back on the organized pillows that I've arranged earlier.

"Couldn't it wait?" I replied, as I continued on organizing my bed.

"No." Ako stood up and looked at me, like she was ecstatic to tell something.

"Okay, fine." I sighed and sat back down, at the foot of my bed. " What is it?"

"Well, umm..." Ako blushed, entangling her fingers. "It's..."

I couldn't help but smile.

My twin sister was like this whenever she's nervous to tell something. Her cheeks blush and her fingers are anywhere, while her eyes avoids direct stare and moves anywhere except at me.

"It's?" I smirked and folded my arms over my chest.

"It's...about...Kei-chan." Ako stammered, blushing like a real tomato.

I felt like a hurricane just knocked me down from my own room.

_Kei-chan...Keita...Kei-chan...!_

_Aargh, the name just totally pisses me off!  
_

_Why did this stupid conversation mentioned his name again?!  
_

"What about Keita?" I can't help but held a hint of annoyance in the words that left out of my lips.

Ako didn't seem to notice and went on to continue.

She's really ignorant when it comes to listening to other people when they're talking and keeps on saying fuss all the time about this sort of thing or person that she wants to talk about.

"I slept with Kei-chan again today and there's something unusual that happened." She said, smirking.

I gulped and stared at Ako in shock, my jaws almost dropped and hit the ground.

_What the hell does that even mean?! Did they do something perverted in his room?!_

Fortunately, I managed to stay calm.

"Let me guess," I said, in a deadpanned manner like I always do. "Keita finally seduced you and forced you to do it?"

"What?! No!" Ako scowled at me.

I laughed at her expression.

"Heh." I smirked. "Just kidding. Mom and Dad would hear you otherwise."

"Of course!" Ako cried out, blushing like crazy.

"Okay, then, if he didn't seduce you, what did happen?" I asked.

"If I tell you," Ako leans closer to me, grinning. "I hope you wouldn't get jealous?"

I blushed at the word, jealous.

_Why in the world would I get jealous?! My feelings for Keita already faded a long time ago!_

"I won't!" I snapped.

Ako shrugged and continued. "I heard him, muttering Kiryuu-sensei's name while he was sleeping."

Okay, that part really killed me. Not just a hurricane, but a really massive tornado and volcano eruption.

_Why in the world would he-_

_Unless he really loved her and not Ako._

_Geez. I can't take this conversation anymore._

I stood up without a word and grabbed my towel and bathrobe from the nearby closet.

"I'm taking a bath." I said and closed the door shut, leaving Ako behind.

* * *

After taking a bath, I tied my hair back into a ponytail, slipped on my uniform clothes and hurried downstairs to catch breakfast.

Mom, Dad, Ako and Keita were already there, seated in their respective chairs and eating the sausages and eggs that Ako cooked for all of us.

I sat beside Keita, without noticing and placed my bag underneath the table.

Ako caught my eye and smirked.

I glared at her for a second then turned away.

_What is her problem?_

I filled my plate with eggs and sausage, not to mention the butter toast that really smells good.

A small conversation went between Ako and Mom, while Dad kept on nodding and smiling.

Keita didn't talk to much and so did I.

He has his own habit of swallowing the egg whole while talking, which really surprised me today since he was only munching the buttered toast silently and staring at it eerily.

Ako looked at both of us warily, while I swallowed my breakfast and sipped the glass of milk.

She continued to do so, which made me annoyed over her unusual behavior today.

"Look, Ako," I stood up and grabbed my bag from underneath the table. "You can sit beside Keita if you want. There's not need to stare at me like that."

Mom and Dad stopped from eating and stared at both of us.

Ako stood up. "I wasn't looking at you!"

I glared at her and she did back at me.

"Yes, you were." I shot back.

"No, I didn't!" She snarled.

Mom and Dad exchanged looks like they were starting to bet on who would win in the battle between sausages and eggs.

Keita stared at both of us, even at me, with this amazed look on his face.

"Then, if not, let's just change seats." I said and walked over to Ako.

"Fine." Ako grits her teeth and we exchange places.

I continued on eating while Ako blushes since Keita is beside her.

What Ako said earlier never really left my mind.

_Does he really love Kiryuu-sensei or does he love Ako better?_

_What about me?_

* * *

**A/N: **Hey! So, is it good? I apologize for making it short. I'm kind of new making fanfics. Although, I really loved this show and I really do hope that the production of it would be successful, since the show only airs in twelve episodes in the original and ten in the OVA. Reviews are welcomed with open arms (lol) and don't hesitate to PM me if you have any questions. Chapter 2 would be updated soon. Thanks!


	2. Chapter 2: Unexpectedly

After the final class, I joined some of the disciplinary officers patrolling the hallways as usual. It was our job to scold the youngsters hiding in some places in corridors. It was a major offense last year.

I pulled out a walkie-talkie from my breast pocket. "Third floor corridors are clean, over."

"Roger that, Officer Riko. Wait for standby, over." A response came.

I tucked the walkie-talkie again in my pocket and went on, patrolling the hallways.

The rooms were deadly silent from now, since all of the freshmen and sophomores have their dismissal an hour ago.

It was dark, but there were some lights from the restroom...maybe the janitors were still cleaning the restrooms.

My footsteps echoed through the empty hallways, joined by the wind that brought some fresh air.

After passing on the last hallway that leads to the fourth floor, I stopped for a moment and sat down on the sides of the stairs.

My legs were already all tired from walking.

I sighed and leaned on the railings of the staircase, while sipping the water from that cold and refreshing bottle of water.

_I wonder what Ako is doing right now...Hmmm..._

_"I heard Keita whispering Kiryuu-sensei's name in his sleep." Ako continued, smirking._

I shook my head and forced pushing those thoughts away.

_Why do I keep on thinking about Keita? Is it because I haven't really moved on from that feeling?_

_No._

_Maybe Ako's using that to my weakness._

I shook my head and glared at the distance, imagining the thought of Ako doing that to me.

_If so, I won't show weakness to anyone who tries to find it._

I felt my grip crush the plastic covering of the water bottle.

_I can't let you win over me, Ako. No matter what happens..._

_I will go to study in that university, lose my feelings over that pathetic Keita. Then only, Dad and Mom can see that I will excel higher from my sister._

* * *

My eyes are closed.

Silence filled my ears.

My hands kept tightened on the plastic water bottle.

And I am trying to think when all of a sudden...

"Office Riko Suminoe, copy." The walkie-talkie buzzed in my pocket.

I took it out and replied, "This is Officer Riko, reporting. Nothing yet, over."

"Good job, officer." A reply came and the walkie-talkie went silent.

I tucked it again inside my breast pocket and leaned on the railing once more.

_Ako..._

_..._

_Keita..._

_..._

_*footsteps*_

My ears became alert and I immediately opened my eyes.

_Someone's close!_

I stood up and brushed myself, curious to find the source of the footsteps.

_*footsteps become closer*_

_It's not a student! Wearing high heels is forbidden!_

I crept behind the wall. Then, upon looking, I saw a figure loom over the hallways, talking to someone on the phone.

_A lady's voice!_

_What is she doing here?!_

_All the teachers already went home!_

"...Yes, I know. Is my sister, Mikazuki, already home?" the girl was saying. "She told me that Mikazuki has homework, but, I'm late. Yeah, I'm sorry."

_Mikazuki?_

My heart is pounding and my lips are tightly pressed together.

She is close, I can feel it.

_Closer..._

_Closer..._

_..._

_Now's my chance!_

I immediately leaped at the figure and enclosed my arms on her neck and my legs on her knees, that sent her to fall down instantly.

The lady screamed.

_Wait!_

"Somebody...help!" The lady shrieked.

_It's Kiryuu-sensei's voice!_

* * *

I immediately withrawed myself and helped Kiryuu-sensei stand up.

"Kiryuu-sensei!" I said, sheepishly.

Kiryuu-sensei, the beautiful lady with golden blonde hair and raw umber eyes like mine, stood before me stunned.

She was our homeroom teacher when Ako and I were just in the first level of our high school year.

_And now she competes for Keita's feelings._

I pushed those thoughts away, turning my attention on the beautiful, big-busted lady in front of me.

_Hmph! Her busts are still larger than mine! What the hell did she do to make those freaking lumps grow bigger than mine?!_

Instead, I forced myself to be respectful and polite.

Kiryuu-sensei stepped back, an inch away from me.

There was this horrified expression on her face that made me worried.

"How do you know me and who are you?!" She demanded.

_Crap, now she doesn't know me?_

"My name is Riko. Riko Suminoe, Kiryuu-sensei." I replied. "You don't remember me anymore?"

Kiryuu-sensei shook her head and looked at me in bewilderment.

"Riko...Suminoe...Suminoe..." She frowned, like she was trying to remember my name.

I waited for her response, with a plastered stupid smile on my face.

"Suminoe..." She stopped and looked at me, the expression on her face already says that she knows me somehow.

"Ah! Yes! You are the sister of...Keita Suminoe, am I correct?"

Okay, I really lost myself right there.

_She remembers Keita..._

_But, she doesn't remember me?!_

_This lady really wants to seduce Keita, like her sister would!_

_Stay calm, Riko.__  
_

_Just...fucking...stay...CALM!_

I forced a smile.

"Yes, Kiryuu-sensei." I replied, politely. "I am Keita's sister."

"Oh." Kiryuu-sensei started to smile back. "Yes, um, is Keita around?"

"Oh, my brother is sick." I lied, trying hard not to laugh. "He...um...has this fever earlier this morning."

_Heh. He really isn't._

"Oh, is that so?" Kiryuu-sensei's smile disappeared.

"Yes, I'm sorry." I said, hiding my smirk. "Why do you want to find him, senpai?"

"Oh, um..." Kiryuu-sensei blushed. "Keita...he has a misconduct in my class. I don't know why he sometimes sleep in my class, but, I really have to talk to him and his parents."

_He sleeps in class?_

"Oh, I see." I replied. "Is it okay if I will just inform my brother on this matter?"

"Yes, please do, Riko." Kiryuu-sensei nods, adjusting her glasses. "This is really serious."

I nodded and smiled in reply.

"Well," Kiryuu-sensei sighed and glanced at the wall clock. "I'm already late."

I stepped aside and smiled. "Nice to see you again, senpai."

"Yes, well, I have to go." She said, and hurried down the stairs, her high heels trotting on the ground.

I waved as she went.

Once she was gone, I headed my way out too.

My shift was done in that floor anyway.

_I'm sorry, Kiryuu-sensei._

_But, I have to take these actions on my own._

_Riko is not who she seems and she says that she will not be letting you._

_You don't know what I'm capable of and you wouldn't want to know that if you already knew what's best for you._

_..._

* * *

**A/N: **Finally, Chapter 2 is done! Yay! Anyways, keep reviewing as always and thank you for those who follow/favourite this story! Thank you and I promise to do the same, that is why Chapter 3 will be followed!


	3. Chapter 3: Dysfunctional

"I'm back!" I cried out, after closing the door behind my back.

It was already a little late, the skies were already covered with black soothing and the moon was hiding behind the clouds.

I went upstairs and was about to drop my bag on the nearby couch when Ako noticed me going upstairs and stopped me from doing so.

I turned around and saw my twin sister, staring back at me, while I guess she was glaring at me, holding the knife in one hand and the apron tied at her back.

"You're not going to kill me with that, are you?" I said, pointing at the knife.

"It would be meaningless if I'd try to throw this knife on your forehead." Her words had a mix of anger and contempt.

I smiled and headed downstairs, ignoring her reply earlier.

_You don't even know what's going on, Ako. How can you possibly kill me when I'd kill you first for stealing my life, the praise that I deserved from Mom and Dad, Keita's love, and not to mention, the things that you say to me that hurts even more than the knife struck on my forehead?_

"Nice to see you too, Ako." I said, taking a step forward.

"Don't come any closer to me, Riko." Ako snapped, continuing to glare at me and taking an inch step backwards.

"Why not? We're siblings, aren't we?" I replied, as I tried to push those thoughts away earlier.

"We _are _siblings, but don't expect me to believe that excuse of yours!" Ako snapped, her grip tighten on the handle of the knife.

"That wasn't an excuse!" I snapped back, starting to get angry at her rude behavior.

"Well what was it, then?" She said, sarcastically.

I wasn't able to reply at her sarcastic question, which I know she would surely win. Instead, I continued to think of something else to say.

"Answer me, Riko!" Ako snapped.

"Ako, what's wrong with your behavior today?" I asked, instead of answering her, with a perplexed look on my face.

"There's NOTHING wrong with me." She replied, angrily.

"Then why, Ako?" I asked, losing a bit of my temper. "WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE I DID SOMETHING WRONG TO YOU?!"

"Because you don't even remember what happened earlier this morning!" She replied, her voice raising.

"What...happened?" I couldn't recall.

_What the hell was she talking about?! I don't even care what happened earlier! If she's so damn mad at me, why don't she just throw that fucking knife on my face, if that's the case?!_

_Great, now even my sister is a big psycho._

"You mean YOU DON'T REMEMBER embarrassing me in front of Mom and Dad?" She even laughed in a sarcastic manner which totally pissed me off.

"Why are you even making a big deal out of it?!" I shot back. "It already happened and even if I say 'I'm sorry' to you, you won't accept that apology!"

"Why would I accept that, huh?! You know I hate being embarrassed in front of Mom and Dad!"

"Then, why don't you explain it to Mom and Dad?! That all of it was just a big misunderstanding?!"

"Oh, shut the fuck up! You don't tell me what to do!"

"I can tell you whatever I want to! You're my sister and it's my duty to remind you that you don't have to make things that complicated!"

"You've already made my life complicated! Do you even want to complicate it more?!"

"I'm just saying what's best for you! Why do you have to be such a pain?!"

"I'm not the pain! You are! I hate you!"

"If you hate me so much, why don't you just kill me right now with that knife so we can already end this shit!"

"Are you out of your mind?!"

"Oh, for Christ's sake, Ako! Stop being such a crybaby to everyone in this house!"

"I'm not-!"

* * *

"ENOUGH!" A voice cried out from the upper floor.

I know that voice.

Ako stopped and was stunned, since she was greatly interrupted by our ongoing arguement about what happened earlier this morning.

_I know that familiar voice._

I, too, stopped and looked up, waiting for another words.

"We are the only people in this house and even you two can't get along!" A familiar voice cried out once more.

"I-It...was...R-Riko!" Ako managed to stammer, looking up too.

I couldn't help but look up in awe.

The boy with the same blue hair and eyes, wearing a simple undershirt and basketball jersey shorts...my brother, Keita Suminoe.

He was looking down at both of us, glaring.

"Keita..." I muttered to myself.

It's been a long time ever since I looked at him longer than just a glance.

Things had been difficult between us three in the past few years and because of that, I don't even know anymore how to treat them like the way I used to.

Ako wanted to go to a different university and I wanted to do the same. Keita supported our decision and from then on, it has been bitter between me and him.

He always helped Ako and when we always meet, I never said a single hi at him.

_There was no distractions therefore I should really ignore him and continue on with my studies._

_No distractions._

_No falling in love._

_No doing anything that includes entertaintment._

_That's how I do it._

"Riko embarrassed me in front of Mom and Dad earlier this morning." Ako started to explain but Keita interrupted her.

"Look, if we're going to be not distracted from our daily tasks, maybe we should split up and avoid any conversation that would lead us to fighting." said Keita.

Before Ako could even object, I agreed.

"Yeah, I think that's the best way to make sure." I replied, shooting Ako a triumphant look.

Ako glared at me for one last time, then head to the kitchen to make sure that her cooking doesn't go burning off like the last time.

Keita glanced at me, then headed up again, assuming that he has his homework tasks to do.

I went straight to my room, to prepare myself for dinner.

_She will pay._

_Oh yeah, big time._

* * *

After having dinner, all of us went straight to out rooms, closing the doors shut.

I unzipped my bag and pulled out some books and papers, also some of the books that I've been buying recently in some nearby bookstores close to Tamahide.

Setting them all in my desk, I started to review everything that we discussed from today up to the past few days.

Math, Calculus, Science, Biology, Journalism, and so much more...

I've decided to study Science first, since for me, this subject was the easiest among all of them.

_The cells are the organisms that can be classified into two; both can be found in plants and animals._

_The cell part, 'Mitochondria' have the ability to turn those proteins into energy, in result, the ATP or the 'Adenosine Triphosphate'._

_There are also some parts which can help a cell function properly._

_Some of these for example is the 'Golgi Complex' or 'Golgi Apparatus' which delivers the proteins of the cell to another cell; using packages of-_

"Riko!" Someone knocked on the door. "Riko, are you there?"

_Ako..._

_Now, what does she want from me?_

"Riko!"

_Did she really think that I would forgive her for what she did to me earlier?_

"Riko, please...Please let me in."

_Damn!_

"Coming!" I replied, leaving my book on the desk and approached the door.

I twisted the doorknob and pulled the door, seeing a girl with her usual pink pajamas at the doorway.

"What do you want?" I asked, deadpanned.

"Um..." Ako sounded ashamed. "C-Can I talk to you?"

"Not really. I still have to review for the upcoming exam week. You should be the same too." I said, about to close the door again when Ako refused and pushed the door aside again.

"Wait! It's really important." Ako pleads.

"You've said a lot about important things, Ako. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to do this." I said, and tried to close the door again, but Ako pushed it aside.

"Please, Riko." Her expression told me that this was serious. "Please."

_Should I really let her in?_

"This is not about Kei-chan and not about Mom and Dad." She promised.

_Hmm..._

"Okay, fine. But, make it quick." I said, letting her in, and checking outside to see if there's anyone who saw that.

Gladly, no one did.

* * *

Ako looked around my room, amazed to see that it was tidy and organized.

"Impressive." She said, then, finally seeing the books on my desk.

I sat on the furthest chair, looking at her warily.

"You've been studying?"

I nodded in reply.

"I'm impressed, Riko. I thought that-"

"-I didn't study at home?" I finished her sentence and stood up. "That's what you always thought of me."

Ako stared at me, taken aback by my words.

"Look, I'm sorry-"

"Don't need your apology." I cut her off. "That was a long time ago, anyway."

"Okay." Ako nods, then sits on the desk chair.

"So..." I started.

"Yeah, hey, can I say something without you interrupting me?" She asked.

"Sure." I replied.

"About what I did earlier, I'm really sorry for that." She says, looking down. "I really didn't mean to yell at you,"

"I'm not accepting that apology." I replied, at least I'm being honest with her. "You've already made yours."

"Please let me make it up to you." Ako insists, but I shake my head.

"You're my sister and I love you, but, if I have to choose..." I replied. "I will choose the side that says what's best for me."

"Riko..."

"Ako, please understand." I said, my eyes stinging from holding back. "I'm doing this what's best for us. I don't want another fight."

"Okay, fine." Ako stands up.

"Is that all?" I asked.

"Yeah." Ako managed a weak smile. "Glad we had this talk."

"Likewise," I smiled back.

"I'll be in my room." She says, approaches the door, then closed it behind her.

_I'm sorry, Ako._

_I'm sorry, Kiryuu-sensei._

_But, from now on, I will treat you like just another distraction._

_Distractions should be limited._

_I will be doing this on my own now._

* * *

**A/N: **Chapter 3 is here! Upcoming: Chapter 4! I will always be updating, so that maybe before class starts, I have finished.


End file.
